Jessica S. (killerforhire) wrote in theprimadonnas,
Jessica S.

I understand that my reflections are unconventional, hard to follow, and have no beginning, middle, or end. I also understand that I am relying on other, more talented writers to describe the emotions that I and possibly Elie went through in the course of Night. What I am trying to say in the reflections and the CD enclosed is that I find his loss of faith to be the major theme in the story. I cannot describe to you what I think faith is other than a persevering sense of optimism in the face of adversity. Or as Depeche Mode says it in “...And Then”, “to think that things couldn’t turn out worse.” I don’t know whether losing you faith is “giving up” or “realizing you’re the only one in control of your fate”. Or maybe realizing that man and man alone is in control of his fate and most certainly not God. I am not atheist nor do I claim any specific religion. I believe in God and that is enough to help me sleep at night. Despite my foul mouth and despite the numerous, blasphemous songs I listen to everyday, I have this feeling that no matter how much trouble I’ll get in, there will always be a way out. Of course, I am a naive 15 year old girl living in the suburbs. I have not seen what Elie has seen. I have not gone through what Elie has gone through. I do not blame him. I completely understand him and would have done the same. Not probably. Just definitely. I find it amazing that I can think like this when atrocities are being committed everyday. From a distateful Danish cartoon that people are getting killed over to not having the right amount of melanin in your skin. But, as I’m writing this at ten o’ clock on a Saturday night, maybe I’m not as optimistic as I thought I was. Despite all the efforts to stop genocide, homicide or anything with the suffix “-cide”, I think it will always occur. Or to try to sound deep and meaningful, hate is the only thing man has power over. Love is something Divine, something controlled completely by God. Hate is completely man-made and that’s why God can’t stop it. He does not know it.

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